Mourning
We’ve had a number of deaths in the family and among friends lately. It has been a difficult time and raises the question “How should a Christian mourn the loss of a loved one?”
Matthew 5:4
4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Jesus said the grieving, lamenting, crying and mourning is a part of life. Furthermore, he promises to comfort those who mourn. So when we lose a loved one, it is alright to cry a little and lament their loss. We rightly feel the loss and will miss their presence in our lives. However, for Christians, there is a limit to mourning and when the loved ones knows Jesus, there is also an element of rejoicing. John writes in the Revelation about the ultimate destiny of those who die in the Lord:
Revelation 7:16-17
16 They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat;
17 for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”
So we rejoice that they are in the presence of Jesus and celebrate their life. We remember all that their life has meant to us and we honor their memory. But even so, we are saddened by the loss of their presence in our lives. We miss them.
Having experiences the loss of both parents and all my siblings, I can tell you from experience that the grieving process takes time. The first year is the hardest. When that next birthday, anniversary or holiday comes up, we think about them and wish they were still with us to celebrate the occasion. My sister was a San Francisco Giants fan, and to this day I wonder if she is watching when the game comes on TV. Anyhow. who knows, maybe heaven has a direct line to the MLB network! With God all things are possible!
After a time, normal mourning will subside. We still remember but the memories are not as sharp as the once were. The hard part is when there are painful memories that just won’t go away on their own. If there is unforgiveness between you and the departed one, healing comes hard. It is possible however, to receive healing for relationships, even after one of the parties has departed this world. They can no longer forgive us, of course, but we can still forgive them and also forgive ourselves for our part in the hurtful relationship. Ask a trusted prayer partner for help in this if you are troubled by unresolved conflicts. It is possible to receive forgiveness and healing and then the true Godly mourning can begin.
I hope this helps somewhat. I recently told on relative whose father had just passed away that the simple answer to grieving is the there is no simple answer! It takes time, and prayer and the support of Godly friends and family. So if you find yourselves in this position of having lost a loved one, reach out to a friend or someone you trust at church and pray it through. Mourning is natural, but is still painful, but God will help you though it. Remember what King David said about it:
Psalms 23:4
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
A final thought on the subject is this. Consider what the writer to the Hebrews said about those that have gone before us:
Hebrews 12:1-3
Jesus, the Example
1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Perhaps the best tribute to a lost loved one, is to live a life that honors all that they taught us. We are a living legacy of their life, so do not grow weary and lose heart, but continue to run the race in such a way that honors those that have gone before, but now are watching as a great cloud of witness to cheer us on towards the goal!
